Intimidation

In my short journey of existence, I have only heard of men feeling intimidated by their wife’s, partner’s and even friend’s success. Like they feel really bad that someone close to them is doing better than them and at the slightest opportunity they get they want to bring the person down to their horrible level. I think this isn’t applicable to the men folks alone, it is peculiar to all human. As long as you have blood flowing through your veins, you are capable of making yourself feel intimidated or think other people will be intimidated by you. I had a live experience with a male friend recently and to the glory of God, there is a strain in our friendship or should I say the bond of friendship is broken.

So the name of my friend is Drake, we’ve been friends for about four-five months and I have always noticed he seems to be this conventional guy, maintaining the status quo person. I remember having a conversation with him around marriage and responsibility (he was actually asking me out as at then) and I said as much as I love making my own meals, there would be times when I might not be available to do so because of work or other commitments and I would either order a take-out or ask my husband to do so. And he was like when its not that there is no food at home and that if he is the husband he won’t eat the food. That was when I knew we are two parallel lines that can never meet. Sorry for my digression, now back to the story of the day.

I met drake for lunch few weeks ago and during the chit-chat, he asked how I knew one of our mutual contacts who happens to be a lady named Abby and I explained to him. Abby happens to be in the same field with Drake and she was doing better than him. He went further and told me of how he had a recent clash with her on twitter and someone reached out to him and told him, Abby took the clash serious and he has to apologize to her. He did apologized to her according to him. While narrating the gist to me, he made a mistake by adding that Abby can easily be intimidated and that she doesn’t have this strength to maintain her stand. I tried to make him see reasons why his thinking was wrong in all aspect but as usual we could not agree, so we dropped it.

I thought that was the end of the conversation till he chatted me up one day and accused me of ratting him out to Abby and even asked that we say our goodbyes. I was angry and asked him to provide basis for the false accusation. The truth is that I had initially thought of sharing this with Abby but I just decided to let it pass and now this. He refused to provide reasons for the false accusation, so I agreed with him that we should part ways and that was it.

It’s very easy to think others should feel intimidated by you because you are a man and a “stronger vessel” or maybe because the world is meant to be a “man’s world”! You are doing way better than her and you have more opportunities than her or why does she always have to be perfect! Well-done, Mr Strong and Miss/Mrs Perfect!

Have you ever taken time to think about God’s reason for creating man and woman? Or you think God doesn’t know what he was doing when he created different species of men and animals? He created them to fulfill purpose at various levels and degrees and not to be inferior to one another but to partner together to fulfill his purpose for creation.

If there was no need for you, do you think God will create you? You were created because there is a void that only your kind of person can fill. The same way the next person beside you was created to fill a particular void in the society and so when you think they should feel intimidated or you feel intimidated by them, then there is a problem. You have just denied yourself of partaking out of the blessings that person has to share.

The sky is wide enough for all birds to fly, don’t kill a bird because it’s flying higher than you and don’t shoot yourself in the leg by not flying high because the bird beside you has strong wings and so can fly higher than you.

If you are guilty of this accusation, it’s not too late to change your mind and start thinking differently…

The World needs you just as you are!!!

Go and Intimidate no more!

©Christiana Olawumi