Letter To My Friend
I’ve caught myself a couple of times wishing we were still together when I could call you and we’d laugh together over silly things even though we were miles away from each other.
You were my one true friend, but sadly, our friendship couldn’t pass the test of time and growth. Or maybe I was the one with the high expectations or just maybe our friendship duration had expired.
I remember our first fight, it was simply because I came to borrow your laptop without your permission from your room in the hostel. Despite apologizing, You lambasted me so much that I vowed to keep my distance. We were in 300L then, how fast time flies!
Your roommates tried to settle the fight but I was adamant, I felt exposed, and I was insulted publicly by my friend because of her laptop, which wasn’t the first time I was doing that. It took a lot of grace for me to show up in your room without conversing with you because I needed to speak with some of my friends with whom you were roommates.
It took a while then you came back to apologize, I accepted and we resumed our friendship.
Babe, I miss you so much that it hurts. You were my friend. I struggled with keeping friends all through my undergraduate days, but you were one person whom I would gladly spend my last kobo and my dying minutes with because you pay it back by just being my friend and I was comfortable with that.
I could tell you anything, from the lecturer who was asking me out to the guys I had a crush on, to the fellowship exco whom I was in a relationship with — nobody else knows that story, to my failures and wins. I remember you were the first person I told I had 3Fs in one semester because I turned down being a side chick.
I was always eager to share with you. For the days when we ate from the same pot, the days when we split the cash we had, the days when we walked hand-in-hand to the fellowship for mid-week services, for the days when we were inseparable, I will always be grateful for them.
I never thought I’d miss your wedding, but you made me.
Again, you were unconcerned about the impact of your words and action that night I traveled down to visit you that year. I was excited that I would be seeing you after about one year since we last saw, and I thought you felt the same.
Imagine my disappointment when I found out that I was wrong. The friendship had been one-sided all along but I choose to be blind to it. I did selective knowledge, I stuck with what I wanted to know and not the truth.
I had gone to our alma mater to get my undergraduate certificate and thought it would be a nice idea to stop by of which I informed you and you agreed. Imagine my surprise when you told me that you thought I was coming to visit someone else. Even if I was, I felt you will be interested in just stopping by to see me and catch up. But I was deceiving myself as you were not interested. It wasn’t enough that I was stranded in an unfamiliar city/environment.
I took my disappointment and started searching for solutions, as I couldn’t afford to become stranded late in the night. It was difficult navigating an unfamiliar city. I stepped out and got a bike while praying that the bike man doesn’t dupe me because I asked him to take me to the cheapest hotel around.
I got to the hotel and paid for my room while still waiting for you to at least call me to find out if I had gotten somewhere to spend the night, but no. I didn’t hear from you till the following morning.
I decided to starve that night to avoid being stranded the following morning when I’m to return back to my base. I couldn’t call my parents or family members because they were not aware that I was in that city.
Thankfully, I was wise to inform my close friends Rhodes and Sanwo. While I was on the call with Rhodes giving a breakdown of my activities, he asked if I had eaten, I told him no, and he sent me money with strict instructions to go get food, and that was how I didn’t sleep on an empty stomach that night.
I cried and cried that night when I realized that the one person whom I was willing to travel miles for is unbothered about my safety. That was the day I signed the divorce papers in my heart. I knew things would never be the same again. That was my deal breaker.
That was the day I knew I won’t be traveling miles to show up at your wedding even though I was one of the founding partners of the relationship as it started before my very eyes. How I dreamt of turning up, grinning with smiles and joy, dancing my heart out just witnessing the wedding ceremony of my best friend — at least that was what I thought you were.
It’s been years since we broke up, but the memories still live on.
I am learning to not completely trust people or put them in the place of God because they are human. As humans, we are imperfect and our imperfections sometimes get in the way of our relationship with people which is okay.
I am learning to extend grace to myself and the people around me for the days when things don’t turn out the way they should.
I am learning to trust God to lead me into godly and healthy relationships and also teach me how to be a good friend to the right people.
I am learning not to settle for less even when it comes to friendship. So I won’t settle for less. I won’t chase fame because of friendship. I won’t fake it to make it.
I will be comfortable and satisfied with being friends with myself and patiently wait for the right friends to come because I know they will.
With love from your friend,
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