Life Update: I moved out of My Parent’s House

The first time I considered moving out of my parent’s house was 2021/2022. I had a good job, my salary was in 6 figures, and I had a 6-figure accommodation allowance at my fingertip.

But for whatever reason, I couldn’t bring myself to follow it up. It seemed like it wasn’t time for me to move out. Looking back now, it was indeed not time. I had this nudge from the Lord to keep living with my parents and just save up what I’d spend on housing bills. I obeyed and kept living with them until the Lord said it was time to move.

The moving-out conversation started in September 2023. And it stemmed from a conversation I had with the Lord about owning a car to ease the stress of commutting within Lagos. Getting a car wasn’t an issue but the issue was, “Where do I park the car?”.

For context, I lived with my parents in a location where you can’t even afford to park your vehicle within the compound overnight because you may end up with an empty car by morning, so it was a No.

Later on, my pastor, Pastor Tobi Omojowo gave me a word of prophecy and I remember laughing out loud because it was a confirmation of what I had previously heard about the accomodation and the car. Yes, some of us are indeed being carried by words of prophecy.

I didn’t do anything until this year when the holy spirit raised the conversation again around February, coupled with some occurrences I’d rather not share.

When the conversation came up in February and my pastor counselled me to have a specific timeframe in mind so I could plan towards it. I did. I planned towards June. I started saving towards it and I also mentioned to people around my area of focus that I was house hunting. The prices I saw were crazy and I was prayerfully hoping that I would get something within my budget.

Saturday, June 29th 2024

I eventually moved out on this day to a mini flat with my elder sister. My initial plan was to go with a few pieces of clothing, especially because my friend was previously living there so there was no need for major renovation and repairs but I ended up moving in that same day because why not.

I was legit tired of where I was living. Maybe sometimes in the future when I’m comfortable and I receive God’s permission to share, I would.

The morning after the first night in my apartment

What I missed about living with my parents

1. The random background conversation: For example, except my elder sister is home, the flat is silent. Which is good and I love it.
2. I stopped handling my laundry fully in July 2023 because I had commitments that kept me away even on weekends.

My mum helps me to book a washerwoman in the neighbourhood, including the time and cost. All I needed to do was to plead with her that I was due for a laundry visit, and voila I would get home to meet fresh laundry. Oh, my days! I loved it a little too much.

Aside from the fact that I don’t have to stress about finding time to wash, I now also have time to rest on weekends, attend to my side gigs, take a course and do whatever I want. Money is sweet, but comfort is sweeter.

3. I am now literally fending for myself. Although while I was there, I sorted out my meals except for Sunday afternoon and evening and once or twice in the week when my mum makes a pot of soup I’m interested in. This time around, I can’t rely on “food at home” because the person who will make it is still struggling to hitch a ride from Admiralty Way by 5:30 pm.

First home made meal in my apartment

This is a description of you don’t know the value of what you have until you lose it. For me, I didn’t lose this one, I gave it up. I wanted to see what it looks like to be responsible for yourself as an adult.

4. I miss hurrying out of the house at 7:10 am to meet the 7:30 am train to Marina from whence I would either get a ride or BRT down to my workplace totaling to 2-hour trip. From my new place, without traffic, I will barely spend 1 hour on the road which means that I get to spend more time for my morning devotion, and I have enough time in the evening to do many things.

5. The unexpected goodies/souvenirs from either of my parents when they attend a party. Gosh, I miss them!

6. I never had to pay for electricity or start planning how to gather my next house rent. My parents had that covered, and for whatever reason, they rarely asked me for money for household expenses. But here? I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve gone grocery shopping. Infact, the first time I bought a pack of maggi at Ebeano, I was excited to finally be able to do that. Laughs in adulthood

First time household shopping at Ebeano (ps: I did not buy their plates o. Never knew plates were this expensive)

The last time I took full responsibility of stuffs like that was during my NYSC days, but look at me back to that phase, almost 5 years later. 😂

7. As I’m writing this piece, I’m suffering from a stress-induced cold and catarrh that didn’t show up earlier in the evening for me to get medications. If I had been home, I can guarantee that either of my parents would have aboniki, or paracetamol which would have come in handy. Now, I have to start building a first-aid stash because it’s a necessary evil.

Christie 0, Moving out 100000

In the begining, when the apartment was empty

If you are planning to either move out of your parent’s place or to start living on your own, here are my recommendations:

1. Save more than your budget for house rent. For example, if your budget is 1m for the total package, save more than the 1 million because you’d have to get some housing items. My saving grace was my sister had some items from her former accomodation which relived the cost.
2. Feel free to furnish your apartment in bits and pieces. There’s no law that says your apartment must be fully furnished on the first day or first month. Take your time. Buy brand new if you can afford, if not, by from declutter brands or second hand. Nobody cares, just do your thing.
3. Use the internet for solutions. For example, some years ago, I saw this a video from @itunuolukunle on IG about how she went to get a custom-made mirror from Mushin.

I loved it and made a mental note for whenever the need arises. I didn’t really like the regular mirrors in the market, so I called my younger brother who was a regular in Mushin Market (he’s into design printing) and asked him to go with me. We went round the market till we found the vendor whose price wasn’t so far away from my budget.

Another occassion, I had seen a video from @thelagostourist about how she made bed frames from Pallets. Showed my housemate and we both agreed that they were a better option in terms of price, compared to what the carpenters were demanding. So we got them and we’re enjoying it.

4. Prepare your mind for the good and the bad. The bad like trying to find out how to get a rat out of your apartment. Check the later part of this story for the gist.

Chef Christie representing. Fun fact: I love boiled eggs like crazy

5. Don’t be pressured to live beyond your means. Rent an apartment that one or two months of your salary can pay off.

6. Except the living condition no longer works for you or you need a change of environment, please DON’T MOVE OUT OF YOUR PARENT’S HOUSE. The street is bloody. 😂

The rat story:

I had spent the night in church because we had a vigil, and on getting home, I slumped on the bed to catch a few sleep when my sister came and woke me from slumber with “there’s a rat inside the house”. My first reaction was “why are you disturbing my sleep because of rat, we will get rat poison and take it out”. She vehemently refused and insisted that I wake up so we can chase the rat out.

I grudginly woke up and proceeded with the rat hunting. Thankfully, the rat was in the living room and there wasn’t much item so we were able to see the rat and chase it out successfully. We discovered how it entered in the first place and proceeded to put precautionary method because I hate rats.😢

P:s It took me 3 months to put this together because I wanted to gain a full experience of how it feels living without my parents, and so far, I love it and I will recommend it.

If you meet me on the road, I would tell you that the reason why I left was because it was time, which is partially true but the full truth is, I wanted to experience what it feels like to be responsible for myself.

I wanted to have a space where I have some form of control on what goes down. I wanted a room ro make decision without being pressurred by my folks especially because I’m now in a marriageable season. You know the regular, go to school, get a job and get married thing.

Made beans accoridng to Chef T’s direction but I ended up with diarrhea

I can’t say I wanted freedom or to be independent, like my sister will say, “nobody is independent. We will always depend on other people for something. (Independence).

I wanted an environment that would support and not stifle my growth, infact, I needed a change of environment.

As much as where I’m now staying is not where I would have loved to live, but since that’s what my income can afford, I will make do with it at the moment with my eyes still on the goal.

I am grateful to God for his timely words and the nudges. Someone like me wouldn’t have come this far if God had no say in my life. I’m excited about this new phase of my life and I’m looking forward to all the wonders that would come out of it.

I’m also grateful to my friend, Pelumi Julius as I fondly called him who helped me with the apartment, my siblings and everyone who has contributed to me making this huge decision especially the ones who knew it was a crazy decision, but never voiced it to me.

You know, one of my friends asked me how it feels like living on my own? I responded “no regrets”. I don’t regret not doing it earlier and I don’t regret doing it now. Worst come to worse, I don’t think I want to go back to living with my parents, not because they are bad people but simply because I’ve got to KEEP WALKING.

Cheers to all of us who take risks either calculated or uncalculated

PS: I have a list of stuffs to still get for my apartment, if you would love to gift me anything, please message me on twitter (@thechristianao). And if you will love to give cash, I would greatly appreciate that, 8130781207 (OPAY)