Living With My Parents Ep.3
Do you sometimes wonder why your parents act the way they do? Or why they raised you the way they did? Do you even imagine what life would be like if they didn’t raise you the way they did?
I’ve also asked similar questions, and my conclusion is that as much as their method of raising can be wrong, it’s because of what they were exposed to. For someone who has had 60 years of experience in a matter, it would be pretty difficult to attempt to correct them in 1 hour or worse in 5 minutes.
This is where patience comes in.
Living with your parent will not only teach you patience, it will also grow your capacity to endure others. Yes, because unlike when you were younger and dependent on them and you make them angry by disobeying them.
This time around, they did not disobey you, they just have an alternative opinion that could get you angry and because you are financially independent, you have the right to hit the roof and utter despicable words at them. Or worse, scream at them for just making a mistake as little as walking on you while you’re on a virtual work meeting.
Another scenario is that they indeed disobeyed your instructions like asking them to stop alcohol or to stop travelling late at night, but they end up doing what they are used to.
See, if we’re going to be realistic with ourselves, your parents will frustrate you. Not because they wanted to, it just happens.
For example, I’m writing this piece from a Burger King restaurant somewhere in Lagos. Before I left the house, I had a conversation with my mum where I was trying to point out a mistake or should I say wrong choice of words.
She wasn’t willing to accept that and decided to bank on a sentence I made about everybody having what to do with their life. She abandoned the other things I said and before I knew it we had landed at “with all the things I’ve gone through for you guys” and she was this close to tears. I wasn’t going to have the emotional blackmail so I left the house for my Sunday evening routine.
This would have still happened if we were not living together, but the intensity will be reduced, as they will have less access to what you do with your time.
I kind of feel our parents want us to live our lives for them, and it takes deliberate decisions and standing up for yourself for this not to happen. Not because you’re living with them, but because they can still live your life for them even while you no longer live with them.
The moment you come to the “I want to live on my terms”, be ready for war. Because you don’t want to make your parents your enemies and you don’t want them to be your enemies too, you have to be patient while making them see the reasons for your decisions.
A good example is the “mummy’s boy” who got married yet his mother knows every single incident that happens in their house. I’m yet to find a “mummy’s girl” or “daddy’s boy story”, please share if you know of any.
Living with your parents will teach you how to be wise in your relationship with them and you will practice patience.
If you ever get to the point where you’re about to say something you might regret in the future, please ask God for help and wisdom. Even beyond making mistakes, still ask for help. That’s my greatest hack for successfully living with my parents.
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