Overcoming Insecurities(1)
Have you ever felt like you are not enough? Feelings like you need something to make yourself perfect?
Do you consider getting a blank cheque so you can dictate your body shape to fit into people’s definition of perfect?
You are not alone, we are in this together. I’ve learned that the more I try to avoid talking about my pains, the more intense the pain becomes because I’ve decided to give it the power to control me with my silence.
So what do I do? I’m just going to break the ice. Yes, I broke my silence, embracing my weakness with my full chest, loudly screaming that “You’ve got no hold over me anymore!”.
According to WebMD, Insecurity is a feeling of inadequacy (not being good enough) and uncertainty. If you describe an insecure person as lacking in confidence, you won’t be wrong.
You don’t trust yourself, your capabilities, your strengths, and the many goodies deposited in you.
Do you know the devil is trickery? how does he manage to sneak petty thoughts in that make you feel lesser than who God has made you? (Sigh) It is one of the craziest and annoying things I’ve ever experienced all my life.
Like, a whole me, God’s masterpiece, created in the image of God to declare his good works now having no confidence in God’s creation, it’s not the devil’s fault, I was the one who permitted this madness for so long and now, I’m not hiding anymore.
I want to share some of the experiences I had around insecurity while growing.
Growing up and even now, I have sweet tooth and that drove me to chocolates and all the sweet things around it. I used to be the go-to chocolate review person at that time. That tells how deep I went with my sweet tooth.
Many years later, I discovered I had colored teeth, in fact, two at different positions. My teeth are no longer the regular brilliant white they used to be, they got colored as a result of my obsession with chocolate consumption and the likes.
I tried all sorts of solutions but these two teeth proved stubborn than the rest. And that began a phase of insecurity around my oral lifestyle and dentition.
I stopped showing my teeth when I smiled or laughed because I wanted to avoid people making jest of my colored teeth. This continued for a long while and although I can’t remember what happened or when it did.
I just noticed I started feeling comfortable showing my colored teeth when I laugh or smile, so I began to smile and laugh more in public when a joke is said or I found something amusing. I started getting compliments about how charming my smile was whenever I smile or laugh.
I guess the comfortable part started because I no longer got awful comments about my teeth, and I got amazing and inspiring comments instead
That boosted my morale and I knew I wasn’t going to shy away from this thing because it was part of me and I have to learn to appreciate every part of my body.
To top it, I have a diastema, you can imagine how charming and captivating my smile is.
During my time as an undergraduate, I had one guy who wanted a date and on one of our random meetings on campus, he complained about my teeth and promised to get me a teeth whitening solution if I agreed to date him.
Funny right? A whole spec!
I don’t have a problem with getting a teeth whitening solution, it will even be beneficial to me. But I had a problem because it was obvious that he was ashamed of my colored teeth, and won’t want his friends and colleagues to see him with a beautiful lady that has colored teeth.
I jumped and pass him o. Before I will hear another one.
What brought this whole story to my mind was because recently at an event, I was jumping here and there featuring in pictures and all that (of course, I love pictures). This person said, “You are just featuring everywhere with your brown teeth”.
This reminds me, have you read my article on The seventh sense of human; Sense of entitlement? if you haven’t, click the link to read.
If it was some years ago, I would have shrunk and avoided everybody till it’s time to leave the event but not anymore. Instead, I seized every opportunity to show off my brown teeth, even with the so-called brown teeth, I still look stunning, so why should I hide.
I shined my shine till the end of the event, I totally forgot about the comment till some days after when I was doing a recap of the event in my head.
Lesson: Avoid trying to make the people around you fit into your standard. You did not create them, you made no contribution to their upbringing, and so your opinion is not needed.
It’s fine for you to have an opinion but there are some opinions that will do more harm than good if voiced.
Know when to keep quiet, some people already have internal wars going on, don’t add external war to the group chat.
Also to remind you that God makes a masterpiece and nothing short. If you ever feel insecure about any of your body parts, remember this and remind yourself that you are God’s masterpiece.
For You formed my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Marvelous are Your works, and I know this very well. Psalms 139:13–14
If you have ever been or you are currently in my shoes, and you sense a need for a heart-to-heart conversation, you can reach me on WhatsApp and also on Twitter.
With love from my heart to yours. 🥰
