Stereotype: Everyone must meet your standard
A stereotype is a conventional and exaggerated conception of a person. I see stereotype as an act of placing an individual on a societal scale with no regard for the individual. Every day and every second of our life, we are faced with diverse forms of stereotypes from every nooks and cranny of our society.
We have become so attached to upholding the values of the society that we are not bothered about individual values. One would have thought that since society is made up of diverse individuals, the individual’s belief should be more relevant. But the reverse is the case, an individual’s value must be subjected to societal values, and should such a person fall short of that value, they get nametags and discrimination from the same society they belong to.
We have various reasons for holding onto a belief and holding on to our values. Regardless of whatever their reasons might be, it should be valid and accepted. In fact, you don’t have to accept it, learn to live with it. People will always have contrary opinions and beliefs because they are wire in different ways and your ability to live with the differences is golden. If you refuse to learn to live with it, you might be shooting yourself in the foot because of your erroneous mindset.
I had a personal experience when I started my lowcut journey in December 2018. What was meant to be a few months journey ended up as a two-year thing because of the stereotype! I decided I was gonna hold onto my belief and keep the low-cut as opposed to the societal belief that ladies are not meant to cut their grown hair and if you do, you are a street girl, a runs girl. I just remembered that some ladies once shared their experiences of how the stylist refused to cut their hair without their husband/boyfriend’s permission, thankfully my stylist did not ask me, he even styled it to my satisfaction that day.
I am a free-spirited girl who loves trying out new things, adventurous and daring but somehow I found myself attempting to hide my light that was not meant for my town alone but for the whole world to see😊.
I remember when I was going to the university as a naive 18-year-old, I repeatedly reminded myself that I will not do anything that will give room to invalidation by society(like, I desperately wanted society’s validation 😲). Literally, I would not do anything that will make people say it was because I went to school and that was why I was acting the way I did(Who even taught me this nonsense! 😞). How else will people see the difference between me and others if I don’t act and live differently courtesy of my exposure?
At the time when I was leaving university, I knew I was done living according to other people’s patterns and seeking validation from the society that obviously doesn’t care about me. I started my journey of #NoTOSocietyValidation by cutting off my full-grown hair that I had been nurturing for about five years. This became the main reason for going on low cut alongside the fact that making my hair was stressful for me and I was not a fan of wigs.
As expected, they came for me. Everyone suddenly had something to say about my hair. Someone that has not seen me in a while, sees me and the first thing is “Why did you cut your hair?” and then they go further with “You are not fine with this low cut” and the next thing “You look like a boy”. I even got name tags from family and friends like “Omo Wobe”, “tomboy” someone once said that if she had not known me before, she might have assumed that I had lost my salvation, Aunty how far na? Are you assistant Jesus?🙃
As much as I laugh off the usual teasing, I still wondered why the stereotype. Probably if people never knew I had a Christian background, they would have assumed that I was a street girl. And while I had an omo wobe appearance, God was dealing with me unknown to me and people around me but as usual, we are blinded by the fact that we have the exclusive right to validate a person’s decision.
How did we get so far with our stereotyping jargon?
Is there a particular order an individual must follow to live their life that is different from what God already prescribed?
It is easier for us to condemn people because they don’t look the way we want them to look. How exactly are they supposed to look? I just wanted to relax my scalp and try out something different, Daz all.🤷🏽♀️
With the stereotype bruhaha, I decided I was going to stand up for myself and do what I want for myself as long as it doesn’t take me away from my faith. I was at war with my inner-self struggling to discover who I was and society was also fighting me for looking like a man. I stopped being bothered about what people would say and gradually their voice faded into the background and now even if my actions contradict their expectations, they have learned to respect my opinion about myself.
At this point in life, we should be considerate about other people and not just seek to express “our thoughts” especially if they did not ask us. If you are not comfortable with their decision concerning their life, look away and stop disguising.
You should learn to respect people’s opinion about themselves and not force your opinion on them.
The crux of the whole matter is to quit boxing people into your idea of what they should look like. Allow them to express who they are around you.
Avoid stereotypes like it’s a plague, you never know if your boss/investor is the lady with the blond hair or the guy with dreads or the lady on trousers with a sleeveless top. Embrace diversity. Appreciate the physical beauty in others so if you want to see and recognize the inner beauty of a person, don’t be blinded by society’s standard.
Nobody should be made to fit into your standard!
P.S: I am looking forward to coloring my hair.😉
