The effect of offense on relationship
First of all, I want to apologize to him/her for converting my experience into a blog post, it wasn’t intentional, you can call it the life of a blogger. 😝
In my short years of existence, I have come to understand that offense is one sin that doesn't only jeopardize your walk as a believer but also affects your relationship with other people. It’s not limited to friendship, it extends to your relationship with family, friends, neighbors, colleagues at work/school, co-passengers, and others. For the context of this story, I will focus on friendship.
Friendship is another beautiful gift that God blessed us with, he knows that as much as we can survive on our own with an acquaintance here and there, we still need the blessing of a closely knitted relationship in our life for our growth and sustenance from people who are not necessarily bound to us by blood but by something entirely different like our faith in God, our similar interest in growth and development amongst others.
The offense is the second side of the coin that comes along with friendship. Unlike friendship, it is not a blessing and also not a fruit of the spirit but it’s one of those things that is bound to happen from interactions with other people. It comes as a result of dissatisfaction
By the nature of friendship, two or more people from different family backgrounds, upbringing, environments, exposure, education, ideology, ethnicity, and sometimes religion(this applies to other relationships aside from friendship), there is bound to be conflict. Even for people who grew up together or as a twin, there will still be conflict because we all have different personalities and each has a mind of its own. The conflict either transitions into a confrontation or into an offense.
According to Wikipedia, offence is annoyance or resentment brought about by a perceived insult to or disregard for oneself.
Conflicts happen but what defines you is what determines how you respond to them. You will wonder, how best can I manage conflicts without taking offense?
The answer is not far away, it is as simple as
Continually pursue peace with everyone, and the sanctification without which no one will [ever] see the Lord. Hebrews 12:14(AMP).
To achieve this in your friendship or relationship,
- Accept that your partner is one imperfect being bound to make mistakes.
- The mistakes may not be deliberately to harm you.
- Express how you felt about that person’s actions or words lovingly, just so they’d do better next time.
- Pray for them.
- Forgive them, especially if they will never come to terms with apologizing.
It is also important to note that some people will not come to terms with the fact that their words or actions offend you, some people will come to terms but will not see the need to apologize to you, so you be the bigger person and forgive them ahead. You are not doing this for them, but for yourself, you don’t want to go into panic mode when you hear their voice or when their thought comes to your head, most importantly, we have been assigned the responsibility of loving our neighbors as ourselves and at the same time loving God.
To love God, you have to obey each of his commandments including the one in Hebrews 12:14, Continually pursue peace with everyone, and the sanctification without which no one will [ever] see the Lord. Hebrews 12:14(AMP).
I pray this helps you to make the right decisions, nurture your friendship/relationship and make God proud above all.
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